It was 5:00 AM when I looked at the clock on the dresser and decided it was way too early to get out of bed. I snuggled deeper into the blankets. The next thought I had was Love yourself unconditionally. I’d been asleep, and an hour had passed.
I know that thought was received, and the reason I know that for sure is because I’m far more inclined to have critical reflections about the day before upon awaking. Thoughts like I could have done __________ better yesterday and I’ll do better today.
And I know it was received because I’ve always pretty much rejected the concept of unconditional love. I’ve heard that I should love unconditionally since I was in Sunday School, but it never made any sense to me. I’d think about people who’d done mean, hateful things and then I’d think No way am I going to love those people unconditionally.
The closest I’ve come to feeling unconditional love is the love I feel for my children. I love them every day no matter what happens. Parents do tend to love their children. But soon after childhood ends, and certainly by the time we become adults, many of us believe we have to earn love from partners, neighbors, employers, and even from their own children.
Consequently, I’ve never extended the same level of acceptance to myself that I give to my children. It never occurred to me that I should love myself that much. Sound familiar?
Why did I receive that thought now?
The conditions were right. I’d been asleep and my mind was not active. And I was asking the right question: How can I feel better? Not, How can I feel better about someone else, but How can I feel better.
The conditions
I live in St. Paul, Minnesota, and this February is officially the snowiest on record with 31.5 inches of new snow on the ground. Snowbanks are shoulder high and the month isn’t over. It’s been colder than normal, as well. I work from home, but I’ve had to drive through and walk on the snow and ice often enough. Poor travel conditions and too many days being housebound have been really challenging! I’ve spent more than a few hours perusing places like Sanibel Island in Florida or southern California on the computer. I’ve felt confined by the conditions.
I’d grown tired, though, of my irritable self and my ongoing thoughts of escaping to someplace warm and green. I know that regardless of where I go, I have to come back to me and what is here. And so I’ve been thinking more about I can feel good in spite of the circumstances and conditions around me.
“I Surrender”
I’d cried “uncle” and surrendered my resistance to the circumstances AND THEN I heard the answer Love yourself unconditionally. It wasn’t Love others unconditionally, but Love yourself unconditionally.
In that moment, I knew that my desire to feel good in spite of the conditions around me was the answer I needed and wanted. The explanation I’d heard so many times, and that had never made sense or seemed possible to achieve, was missing a key component: Love yourself unconditionally.
Why now and not before?
Habits of thought, even those thoughts that are self-defeating, often go unchallenged. But when I cared enough about myself to want to feel better, I received a thought about how to feel better.
We get messages in the form of thoughts all the time. Where do thoughts come from? In astrology, the planet Mercury represents thinking and communication. In the myths associated with Mercury, he’s the messenger who carries messages to humans from the gods. Our thoughts cause us to want/desire things in life—relationships, a home, security, creative fulfillment, and so on. Venus represents how we give to and receive from ourselves and others. The Moon represents emotional energy. These are the energies that we use to attract experiences in to our lives.
Thoughts do become things, including habits, in your life. Often, too often, criticism and judgments from others are accepted and then internalized. The conditions (some of which have nothing to do with you and everything to do with the other person) others use to measure your value and worth become the conditions by which you then judge and criticize yourself.
The good news is that habits (patterns of thought) can be stopped AND a belief is only something you continue to believe. Beliefs can be, and often need to be, changed if your goal is to feel good most of the time.
An astrology reading can provide insights that you can use to take charge of your life. Schedule a reading today.
“The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.” — W.M. Lewis
And let me know your thoughts by leaving a comment.
∼ Sharon
